Old Pros

Further to my post last week about Soccer Saturday, I've done a little research. Since I'm normally in action myself on a Saturday afternoon, I don't get to see the show, but ti seems they're all at it.

My favourite quote; "He's up and down the wing like a fish up a tree."

Incompetence is endearing?

This saturday Chris Kamara was sent to cover the Pompey vs Blackburn game for Sky Sports News Soccer Saturday.

To save me explaining what happened, you should now watch the embedded video.

Now, I don't know about you, but I thought this was pretty funny, as did Stelling, Kammy and co, but why? If Jeff Stelling encountered this on his other show Countdown it'd be met with a different response.

"Susie Dent in dictionary corner, can you beat a six?"
"I dunno Jeff".
"So Carol, could you get to 435?"
"I dunno Jeff".

I guess the reason Kammy can pull it off is that he's a pretty charismatic chap, and when he does see a sending off he can usually offer at least some intelligent comment, unlike his colleague on Soccer Saturday, Dean Windass.

Search for Windass clips on youtube, and you'll see him bumble his way through sections of the show, get peoples names wrong and generally make a hash of things.

Why is this incompetetence entertaining from one person, and irritating coming from another? I guess it boils down to the fact that Kammy comes across as a smart guy who's messed up, whilst Windass is more like a man off the street who has wandered into a studio by accident and decided to make the best of it. Like this guy: http://tinyurl.com/32jvd4.

Media Content and Pay Walls

With the ongoing debate about paywalls and imminent introduction of one by Robert Maxwell, I thought I'd take a look at what content is currently available from some of the other large media outlets.

I'm looking at this purely from a sports viewpoint, as an example of what's available to you, the average internet user.

Now, I don't have Sky Sports, so if I want to keep track of what's been going on in the NFL, which I do, I have to use www.NFL.com. The NFL website shows full video highlights of every post-season game, and a decent number of highlights from the regular season. They also make available a weekly discussion show, that airs in the USA on the NFL network.

The NFL also sell some of these highlights to the BBC, who make them available as embedded content on their website. I'll come back to the BBC later.

I'm also a huge rugby fan, so not having access to Sky Sports is a huge blow, as they hold a near monopoly on Rugby in England. Fortunately BBC Wales broadcasts the Magners League and Welsh Premiership, which I can Sky Plus, and S4C does likewise, albeit in Welsh, so I do get a decent amount of coverage. Sky's website offers online video of post match reaction from the Guinness Premiership, and offers highlights to account holders, regardless of whether they are paid up subscribers to Sky Sports.

The BBC, naturally, is highly unlikely to erect a Pay Wall, as they have previously stated that their online arm is paid for by the Licence fee. The BBC offer extended highlights of the Six Nations, Formula One and Football league online, as well as making available content from smaller niche sports.

Ultimately it looks like Murdoch is underestimating the diligence of web users in searching for the content they desire, and underestimating the proliferation of such content.

An old 'un, but a good 'un

Three men: an editor, a photographer, and a journalist are covering a political convention in Miami. They decide to walk up and down the beach during their lunch hour. Halfway up the beach, they stumbled upon a lamp. As they rub the lamp a genie appears and says "Normally I would grant you three wishes, but since there are three of you, I will grant you each one wish."
The photographer went first. "I would like to spend the rest of my life living in a huge house in St. Thomas with no money worries." The genie granted him his wish and sent him on off to St. Thomas.

The journalist went next. "I would like to spend the rest of my life living on a huge yacht cruising the Mediterranean with no money worries." The genie granted him his wish and sent him off to the Mediterranean.

Last, but not least, it was the editor's turn. "And what would your wish be?" asked the genie.

"I want them both back after lunch" replied the editor, "the deadline for tomorrow's newspaper is in about ten hours.


Sounds about right doesn't it?

Journalistic Wisdom

Pull quotes are like condoms. You only need one.

Instant Expert (Just add telly)

During the Olympics everyone becomes sport obsessed. Personally I find it weird how I become totally engrossed in sports that I didn't even know existed. In the current Winter Olympics I've found myself enthralled by the mens and womens snowboard cross, the ski jump, the luge and the moguls. Each of those sports has probably had about 5 minutes air time on Ski Sunday in the past year, yet they now get blanket coverage. (With the exception of the snowboarding events which get a fair amount on satellite channels.)

I find it equally strange how within half an hour I find myself becoming an instant expert on that sport. I can't help but start to mimic the commentator. I'll find myself turning to my girlfriend and commenting on how the luger seems to be taking too high a line through the fifth corner, or how the skier in the mens moguls is getting too much air between his ski's and the snow. During the summer games I sat through cycling, marathons and shot putts, activities that I normally wouldn't give a second thought to.

The effect is doubled when there's a British medal hope, as everyone becomes a living room critic. And if there is a chance of a medal for a Brit, that sport receives blanket coverage on terrestrial TV, relegating more exciting events to the red button. Unfortunately our best chances this time are in the Bobsleigh (not yet started), Womens Snowboard Cross (through Zoe Gillings) and in both the mens and womens Curling. So far the only sport to have had me switch off. I'm afraid Clare Balding waffling on about Curling is a crashing bore.

Any sport that markets itself as 'like bowls, ON ICE!' is onto a loser from the off.

Snapped with my Blackberry: Cock Soup

Mmmmm, delicious. I often look up from my work in the middle of the day and think, "I'm hungry, if only I could have some cock in liquid form."

Well now that day has come, and like many porn starlets I can suck some cock down my throat without so much as a second thought, and all for the bargain price of 35p.

You can find this genitally inspired delight on the world food isle of your local Tesco. Next time someone see's a male organ and exclaims "you can't buy that down the Tesco!" kindly explain to them that they can, in fact, buy that down the Tesco.

Sunspots: Lacey Green

How inane can a newspaper get? What are the news values that allow this to be published under the banner of news?

How the story should have read: "Someone you've never heard of went somewhere you've never heard of, because she's a moron."

Normally the sun is bad enough with its blend of titillation, celebrity stories and brief summations of complex news, but this item really takes the proverbial digestive. No-one but Lacey Green, 24, from Hicksville, Wisconsin cares about this.

Now I appreciate that The Sun has a certain brief, to make any story readable by an eight year old, but this is just daft. In tomorrows paper, "Tom McCarthy, 52, from Brighton did a shit that lasted nearly half an hour."

Snapped With My Blackberry: Sinister Black Child's Wig

There's nothing like a bit of passive racism to shift units of a Halloween novelty wig!

This horrific grammar does a brilliant job of implying that this wig is only for sinister black children. Surely upon proof reading it should have become Child's sinister black wig.

Best Onion posts of 2009

Link

Actual genius.

My personal favourite, "Sony releases new stupid piece of shit that doesn't fucking work"

I lolled hard.

Snapped With My Blackberry: Chinese Democracy

Axl Rose take note, this is what happens when a band spends 12 years making an album that eventually turns out to be crap.

Sunspots: Youthful High Jinks

These boys are 13 and 14 for christ's sake, they should be wanking furiosly into a gym sock whilst rifling threough their best mate's mum's underwear draw and sniffing the gusset of her laciest french knickers. Has internet porn desensitized these kids so much that they've resorted to playing mundane games of dares for kicks?

What are they planning for their next trick? Playing a game of fives where the loser has to go on an exchange trip to the Fritzl's home maybe. Train Surfing perhaps.

Be my friend: Last FM

Do you use Last FM? I do and it's brilliant.

The way it works is that you download a plug in (called the audio scrobbler) for itunes which logs (or scrobbles) every track you play. The Last Fm website then take this data and processes it to produce a number of charts telling you what you listen to most frequently. It also uses this data to suggest similar music that you may like.

It's a simple concept and it works incredibly well. I love it.

Take a look at my profile and see if you like it. You'll see that I'm a big Pixies fan!

Will's Last FM

Overheard at Kingsholm

Whilst watching Gloucester Rugby play I overheard this gem of a phone conversation between an Irishman and his mate.

Irishman 1: Where are we? We're on the Western Terrace.
Irishman 2 (unheard): Are you stood up?
Irishman 1: Stood up? We're on a fucking terrace, everyone's stood up!